Yesterday evening was a total shit show.
I’m not exaggerating here. Last night, I pulled over before meeting up with one of my clients, sat in my car, and started balling my eyes out. Anxiety was coursing through my veins. The fear inside of me had simply grown to be so strong that I had to just give in to it with my tears. During my cry, I expressed to the Universe that I simply couldn’t deal with my situation on my own anymore, and that I needed its guidance. I needed its protection. I needed its love.
In that moment, I surrendered my fear to faith. I accepted that I simply couldn’t rely on my own strength for comfort any longer. And as weak and dis-empowering as it felt in the moment, I didn’t realize that what I was doing was actually very powerful and necessary for growth.
I want to let you know that the fear never goes away. Fear is very much apart of you as is everything else. But much like fear is apart of you, so is faith. And we can build our faith into something far more powerful than fear. Faith can be a place that we live in, and return to when fear attempts to pull us astray.
After my crying subsided, I realized what I was not connecting to my mind, body, and spirit equally. Even though I was a teacher of inner peace and self-love, by treating my spiritual practice as an afterthought to work and hustle, I had neglected the personal attention that mind and spirit require in order for me to be happy.
When I came home from work, having had my spirits slightly uplifted by my totally awesome clients, I just knew I had to get to work. I sat down, and meditated, did yoga, and wrote about my anxious thoughts and beliefs in my journal to truly get to the bottom of why I’m feeling this way. I realized that my fear of success and stability is actually causing me to self-sabotage. Why the hell would I want to destroy my own happiness?
Simply put, I didn’t grow up witnessing long term success and stability. My mom and I moved from home to home, always returning to my grandparent’s house when we couldn’t afford to live on our own any longer. In my seven years living by myself in Los Angeles, I discovered I had been sabotaging my own ability to live stably through very, very financially reckless actions. Subconsciously, I wanted to have that same feeling that I grew up knowing–instability.
Thankfully, I had enough strength and will to live on my own in the city I now called home that I always found a way to stay. It was as if the strengths of my fear and growth were in a constant battle with one another.
I’m so so grateful for all that I’ve been through, though. I needed the bad in order to get to where I am now. But in trying to create a better life for myself, I got wrapped up in the eternals to seek out what I truly wanted: abundance, security, and a sense of peace. I needed to accept that I am already filled with an infinite supply of everything that I need now. We all are.
I am already filled with abundance, security, and inner peace. So, so filled! I simply needed to reconnect with my spiritual practice in order to remember this.
In case you are dealing with the overwhelm of your own personal self-development journey, if you are feeling like you simply can’t do this anymore, and you want to give up, here are four ways that you can turn your fear into faith:
- Accept responsibility for your current situation
We can’t get far in our personal growth by believing that all the bad in our lives is happening to us rather than for us. Through our own actions, we have put ourselves in this situation. But much like we got ourselves in this situation, we can pull ourselves out. Realize that our pain is the Universe’s way of telling us that something’s gotta give. We need change and growth. Accept responsibility, and take action.
- Know that you do not have to depend on your own strength alone
Simply because we are responsible for our actions and emotions does not mean we have to go through this journey alone. Enlist in the Universe for help and guidance. Developing our faith muscles means having to release control and the need to succeed on our own by surrendering to the Universe. Let the Universe know through prayer that you are ready to surrender to faith. Yes, I’m telling you to give your problem to the Universe. Much like you would ask your parents for help and they would be willing to give you anything you wanted, the Universe will do the same. All you have to do is ask, and believe. Ask with the certainty that your prayers will be answered. This is difficult if you’ve always depended on yourself your whole life. But with practice, you will begin to trust that Universe has your back.
- Find your “happy place” & return to it whenever fear creeps in
For me, meditation and yoga are my non-negotiables. After yesterday, I simply can’t go a day without these rituals unless I want to be drowning in my anxiety sooner than later. Find the activities that fill you with a sense of security and calm, so that whenever the fear begins to resurface, you know what you need to do to restore your inner peace. You can discover these activities through experimentation. Make a list of the things that bring you joy, pick 1-3 things off that list, and do them. You may find that you gain such a sense of inner calm that you need to perform these activities daily or else you’ll lose your mind.
- Change your narrative
I think we all have a tendency to look at our own lives from the perspective of a victim trapped in a horror film. We are living in fear and anxiety, and trying to figure out what the heck we are going to do in order to survive, that we are actually attracting the things we are afraid of or want to avoid. By shifting to a positive mindset, one that is open to receiving support and guidance from the Universe and our loved ones, you will begin to attract the things that you desire. By thinking abundantly, knowing that there’s enough wealth (physical and mental) in the Universe to go around, we are opening ourselves up to receive. But by believing there isn’t enough left abundance in the Universe for you, you are closing yourself off from receiving.
Are you struggling with fear and faith? What are your tricks to getting out of fear? Share them in the comments, I would love to hear them.
Did you catch my Uncover Your Self-Worth Workshop? You can watch it on my Facebook page now by clicking this link.