4 Ways to Turn Your Fear Into Faith

Yesterday evening was a total shit show.

I’m not exaggerating here. Last night, I pulled over before meeting up with one of my clients, sat in my car, and started balling my eyes out. Anxiety was coursing through my veins. The fear inside of me had simply grown to be so strong that I had to just give in to it with my tears. During my cry, I expressed to the Universe that I simply couldn’t deal with my situation on my own anymore, and that I needed its guidance. I needed its protection. I needed its love.

In that moment, I surrendered my fear to faith. I accepted that I simply couldn’t rely on my own strength for comfort any longer. And as weak and dis-empowering as it felt in the moment, I didn’t realize that what I was doing was actually very powerful and necessary for growth. 

I want to let you know that the fear never goes away. Fear is very much apart of you as is everything else. But much like fear is apart of you, so is faith. And we can build our faith into something far more powerful than fear. Faith can be a place that we live in, and return to when fear attempts to pull us astray.

After my crying subsided, I realized what I was not connecting to my mind, body, and spirit equally. Even though I was a teacher of inner peace and self-love, by treating my spiritual practice as an afterthought to work and hustle, I had neglected the personal attention that mind and spirit require in order for me to be happy. 

When I came home from work, having had my spirits slightly uplifted by my totally awesome clients, I just knew I had to get to work. I sat down, and meditated, did yoga, and wrote about my anxious thoughts and beliefs in my journal to truly get to the bottom of why I’m feeling this way. I realized that my fear of success and stability is actually causing me to self-sabotage. Why the hell would I want to destroy my own happiness?

Simply put, I didn’t grow up witnessing long term success and stability. My mom and I moved from home to home, always returning to my grandparent’s house when we couldn’t afford to live on our own any longer. In my seven years living by myself in Los Angeles, I discovered I had been sabotaging my own ability to live stably through very, very financially reckless actions. Subconsciously, I wanted to have that same feeling that I grew up knowing–instability.

Thankfully, I had enough strength and will to live on my own in the city I now called home that I always found a way to stay. It was as if the strengths of my fear and growth were in a constant battle with one another.

I’m so so grateful for all that I’ve been through, though. I needed the bad in order to get to where I am now. But in trying to create a better life for myself, I got wrapped up in the eternals to seek out what I truly wanted: abundance, security, and a sense of peace. I needed to accept that I am already filled with an infinite supply of everything that I need now. We all are.

I am already filled with abundance, security, and inner peace. So, so filled! I simply needed to reconnect with my spiritual practice in order to remember this.

In case you are dealing with the overwhelm of your own personal self-development journey, if you are feeling like you simply can’t do this anymore, and you want to give up, here are four ways that you can turn your fear into faith:

 

  • Accept responsibility for your current situation

 

We can’t get far in our personal growth by believing that all the bad in our lives is happening to us rather than for us. Through our own actions, we have put ourselves in this situation. But much like we got ourselves in this situation, we can pull ourselves out. Realize that our pain is the Universe’s way of telling us that something’s gotta give. We need change and growth. Accept responsibility, and take action.

 

 

  • Know that you do not have to depend on your own strength alone

 

Simply because we are responsible for our actions and emotions does not mean we have to go through this journey alone. Enlist in the Universe for help and guidance. Developing our faith muscles means having to release control and the need to succeed on our own by surrendering to the Universe. Let the Universe know through prayer that you are ready to surrender to faith. Yes, I’m telling you to give your problem to the Universe. Much like you would ask your parents for help and they would be willing to give you anything you wanted, the Universe will do the same. All you have to do is ask, and believe. Ask with the certainty that your prayers will be answered. This is difficult if you’ve always depended on yourself your whole life. But with practice, you will begin to trust that Universe has your back.

 

 

  • Find your “happy place” & return to it whenever fear creeps in

 

For me, meditation and yoga are my non-negotiables. After yesterday, I simply can’t go a day without these rituals unless I want to be drowning in my anxiety sooner than later. Find the activities that fill you with a sense of security and calm, so that whenever the fear begins to resurface, you know what you need to do to restore your inner peace. You can discover these activities through experimentation. Make a list of the things that bring you joy, pick 1-3 things off that list, and do them. You may find that you gain such a sense of inner calm that you need to perform these activities daily or else you’ll lose your mind.

 

 

  • Change your narrative

 

I think we all have a tendency to look at our own lives from the perspective of a victim trapped in a horror film. We are living in fear and anxiety, and trying to figure out what the heck we are going to do in order to survive, that we are actually attracting the things we are afraid of or want to avoid. By shifting to a positive mindset, one that is open to receiving support and guidance from the Universe and our loved ones, you will begin to attract the things that you desire. By thinking abundantly, knowing that there’s enough wealth (physical and mental) in the Universe to go around, we are opening ourselves up to receive. But by believing there isn’t enough left abundance in the Universe for you, you are closing yourself off from receiving.

 

Are you struggling with fear and faith? What are your tricks to getting out of fear? Share them in the comments, I would love to hear them. 

 

Did you catch my Uncover Your Self-Worth Workshop? You can watch it on my Facebook page now by clicking this link. 

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Boundary Setting for Health & Happiness Mini-Course

Hello Friends!

I wanted to let you in on some cool news. My Boundary Setting for Health & Happiness Course is now open for enrollment and is on sale for a very limited time.

This course is all about becoming a better boundary setter through:

  • Increasing your self-esteem so you can start saying no to others with confidence
  • Discovering what matters most to you so you can start prioritizing the things that light you up, and cut out what doesn’t serve you
  • Releasing shame and the fear of rejection so that you never feel guilty for honoring your needs and desires again
  • Developing the tools & techniques to setting your boundaries in a respectful way so you can easily decide what to say no and yes to

I really hope that you choose to sign up for this course. I’m so passionate about setting healthy boundaries and love sharing my wisdom and experiences with others so that they can establish their own healthy habits for a joyful life.

If you sign up before Wednesday (the day the course officially releases), you will get $100 off both the course, and a private session with me if you choose this option at checkout.

If all of this sounds perfect to you, you can purchase the course by clicking this link and choosing your preferred payment option. And let me know in the comments if you enroll. I’m so looking forward to hearing from you!

Happy Sunday,

Beck

How to Push Through Your Discomforts In Order to Write Your Book

Much like exercising can become a habit, writing can become one, too. You just have to show up. Every. Single. Day. Even when you really would rather hit the snooze button when your alarm goes off first thing in the morning or head straight home from work and lay in bed. When something’s a habit, you know the benefits of showing up even when you don’t really want to.

 

When you decide that you’re too busy or too tired to work on your novel, what you’re actually doing is avoiding discomfort. Before you even begin writing, you need to know what it is that’s keeping you from doing it now to prevent that particular fear from sneaking back into your mind.

 

If your goal is to write a book and you keep putting it off, you need to figure out why you think sitting down to write a novel is uncomfortable. Aside from the obvious answers like it’s too much work and that you don’t have enough time. Otherwise, that first morning you would rather hit the snooze button, you’re brain is going to have a really good story to tell itself to keep you from getting out of bed.

 

People never start things for all kinds of reasons. Maybe you’re  scared that if you write a novel, it will make you look smarter than your little brother. Or you’re afraid of that people will think your book is garbage. What you’re really fearing is your sibling being mad at you and your loved ones (or strangers!) judging you, which is normal.

 

To reframe those negative thoughts into positive ones in order to get you excited to write your novel, try this little activity I use in my online coaching program The 90 Day Novel: A Guide to Writing Your First Draft In 90 Days Or Less:

 

  1. Write down all the reasons why you suspect you’re afraid to get started.
  2. Once you have your reasons, write down why you might be feeling that way. Be honest. You need to dig deep here and call out your insecurities.
  3. Once you have your why, reframe your belief so that writing your novel will be awesome.

 

Here are some examples:  

 

Bad thought: If I write a novel, my brother will think I’m trying to make him look stupid.

Why: I think my brother will accuse me of making him look stupid because he dropped out of college and is having trouble finding a job. My parents are always getting on him for never trying his hardest.

Better Thought: If I write a novel, my brother will be proud of me. Pursuing my dreams could even inspire him to pursue his. If not, I am not responsible for the way he reacts to my accomplishments.

 

Bad Thought: If I write a novel, Sheila will want to read it because she’s my best friend. Sheila is a journalist. If my book sucks, she’s going to think less of me.  

Why: Sheila writes for a living, which is what I want to do. If a writer thinks I’m bad, then I don’t deserve to call myself a writer.

Better Thought: Sheila loves young adult fantasy novels, which is exactly what I’m writing. She will probably love the story because it will be written in my own unique voice and it’s such a great story. What my loved ones think of my novel matters a lot, but I have no control over how Sheila (or anyone else) feels. Not everyone is going to love what I write, but I love what I write, and I’m proud of the hard work I put into my novel.

 

Do you see a trend here? Both positive beliefs emphasis how we have NO control over how other people are going to react to our writing. This is something that we must accept and get over from the start. The great thing is, while you’re writing your first draft, nobody in the world is anxiously waiting for you to publish it yet. Even the people who tell you they can’t wait to read your book? They’re likely not pressuring you to freaking finish it already, are they?

 

Once you have all of your uncomfortable beliefs listed and reframed as positive ones, take the positive beliefs and put them somewhere where you can see them everyday. Each time a negative thought comes to mind, immediately kick it in the rear and replace it with your positive belief.

 

If these positive beliefs sound too silly to find believable, look at things from this perspective: You have spent so much time (maybe even decades) telling yourself that you aren’t good enough to do this or that. What if all of that negative self-talk is a lie, and the truth is that you really, truly are good enough for what you want? You’ve just been spending all your time living a lie to truly believe in yourself.  

 

Showing the world who you truly are is scary. There’s always going to be someone who isn’t on board with the true you, and sometimes it’s the people we love the most. But withholding yourself of your passions is a serious shame. This is why I created The 90 Day Novel course: to encourage people to tackle their inner-BS and the lies that they’ve been telling themselves in order to sit down and write the novel they’ve always dreamed of writing. We are only guaranteed one short, beautiful life. Make it count and be your best damn self.

 

A Return to Fun Fitness

Like the other areas in my life, I’m starting to question if an intense fitness routine is beneficial in my self-efforts. For the past few years, I’ve beaten myself up physically and mentally all in the name of “strong is the new skinny.”

I constantly felt drained and in need of a nap. I felt heavy and uncomfortable in my body. My jeans stopped fitting me, but when I went shopping for new clothes, I discovered that jeans of every size stopping fitting me. I hated what I was doing, but worried what would happen to my strength and the respect my clients had for me if I took a step back.

Here I thought that my desire to move away from intensity was my body dysmorphia at work and that I had to cast these feelings aside. “I should want to be strong,” I thought. “This is healthy!” Thankfully my therapist assured me that my feelings were reasonable. It’s okay to choose feeling comfortable in your body over beating it up.  It’s okay to perform exercises that give you energy, rather than drain you, even if it means sacrificing your ability to do Rx in a WOD. And it’s okay to want to fit into your clothes, as long as you aren’t trying to fit into an unrealistic size.

But man, if pushing ourselves to the limits every day is what good health has become, why is it devoid of any fun? Are we all supposed to stay on this track, feeling depressed and obligated for the sake of doing what’s best for us?

I think getting involved in an intense program could be good for you if you continue to love what you’re doing. If it’s helping you feel empowered for the first time in your life and allowing you to foster a healthy relationship with your body, you should totally do it. But if you’re doing it because you don’t like who you are and you’re filled with high exceptions for future you, then maybe you need to take a step back for a moment and ask yourself if this is what your body really needs, or if something deeper is causing this unnecessary self-pressure to occur.  

And while it’s okay to diet strictly and workout intensely, it’s important to ask ourselves if we’re doing this for our health, or because it’s become another fad. It’s perfectionism and shame telling us what we’re doing is good for us because we aren’t good enough now. It’s skinny, repackaged as strong.

Now that I’ve made this realization, my newfound calling as a coach is to remind people that true mental health is being mindful of our body and what it needs day to day. That a balanced lifestyle is one that is sustainable, gives you energy, makes you feel good about yourself now, and prioritizes happiness and longevity. That physical results are a bonus to sustained health. And that the part of ourselves that keeps saying that we aren’t good enough doesn’t serve as motivation to “hit it hard at the gym,” but instead needs to be told to shove it.

Personally, I’ve scaled back my more intense workouts to three times a week. On those other days, I’m going to do whatever feels best. Whether that’s cycling, yoga, or nothing at all. Gone are the days where intensity is my only option.

And you know what? For the first time in a long time, I feel strong again. I feel amazing about myself. I feel like me. And I’m better for it.

Have you ever found yourself in a fitness rut? What do you do to stay centered and happy in your fitness regime?