Boundary Setting for Health & Happiness Mini-Course

Hello Friends!

I wanted to let you in on some cool news. My Boundary Setting for Health & Happiness Course is now open for enrollment and is on sale for a very limited time.

This course is all about becoming a better boundary setter through:

  • Increasing your self-esteem so you can start saying no to others with confidence
  • Discovering what matters most to you so you can start prioritizing the things that light you up, and cut out what doesn’t serve you
  • Releasing shame and the fear of rejection so that you never feel guilty for honoring your needs and desires again
  • Developing the tools & techniques to setting your boundaries in a respectful way so you can easily decide what to say no and yes to

I really hope that you choose to sign up for this course. I’m so passionate about setting healthy boundaries and love sharing my wisdom and experiences with others so that they can establish their own healthy habits for a joyful life.

If you sign up before Wednesday (the day the course officially releases), you will get $100 off both the course, and a private session with me if you choose this option at checkout.

If all of this sounds perfect to you, you can purchase the course by clicking this link and choosing your preferred payment option. And let me know in the comments if you enroll. I’m so looking forward to hearing from you!

Happy Sunday,

Beck

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Segue Saturdays: A Segue Into Routine

Every Saturday, I will post an excerpt from my weekly newsletter, A Segue Into Certainty. If you like what you’re reading, consider subscribing.

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve sent out a newsletter, and I promise that this time I plan to make this a weekly ritual. I’ve wasted too much time trying to provide my readers with the “expected stuff” (book reviews, career updates, etc.), only to figure out that all the expectedstuff felt wrong. While being a young adult writer plays a big role in my life, writing young adult doesn’t even touch the surface of how I spend my time. Pretty much all of 2017 was dedicated toward self-improvement and cultivating self-care. I was forced to grow in uncomfortable ways. I know these changes were critical for me, but change at any magnitude is hard, and I’m finally in a place where I can talk about it and attach a lesson to the struggle. That is the stuff I want to share with you. So for my first revamped newsletter, I want to talk about the five things I try to do each day to bring joy and fulfillment into a life filled with too much existential awareness and a little bit of anxiety (which is getting better).

1. My Five Daily Tasks

After reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Bene Brown, I 100% agree that the best we can do is find joy and fulfillment in the everyday small stuff. Happiness, even contentment, is so temporary that it’s useless to chase either of them down until we’ve finally “snagged” them for good. It’s just like chasing after a guy who’s not that into you (which, I’ve been there many times, so I can provide this analogy to you with confidence). So, I’m not dating that incredible good looking improviser I asked to be my practice group coach in order to get him to ask me out (but I was this close to sealing the deal), and I’m also not happy all the time. However, I’m glad that I’ve found these five things that fill me with the proper dose of gratitude each and everyday:

1. Meditation

Meditating has become the best part of my day. I try to do it as soon as I wake up. I’m still a relative beginner, and only meditate about 10 minutes a day, but this is the one task I plan to make a daily habit out of. I just feel the mental and physical benefits of meditation. I’m calmer under stress, more compassionate of myself and others, and am so much more aware of my body’s needs. I’ve dabbled with both guided and open-ended meditation and love them both. If you’re new to meditating, I suggest guided practices to start out, then you can transition into open-ended meditations if you want. I started out meditating for two minutes a day, and now those first two minutes fly by during my sessions. I like the Calm app and Insight Timer with Andy Hobson.

2. Yoga

Yoga with Adriene has become my go-to daily yoga practice. I am definitely not a handstand yogi, probably never will be. But Adriene is a humble instructor who’s turned me into a yogi for the mental and emotional benefits. She has hundreds of free videos on Youtube and provides her viewers with a monthly calendar with a “practice of the day” to make finding the perfect video all the more easier.

3. Writing

Back when I wrote A Fantastic Mess of Everything, I wrote 3 days a week (Monday/Wednesday/Friday) at the same time every morning and had optional editing/writing days on Tuesdays and Thursdays. These days I keep to a similar schedule (I write Mon/Wed/Fri as soon as I make my morning coffee), and I work for no more than two hours to avoid burnout unless I’m having a rare breakthrough that morning. I still keep my Tues/Thurs as optional days as to not feel guilty if I have too many errands to run or I prioritize rest to writing. Surprisingly, I get a LOT done on this schedule. Plus, it’s totally realistic and attainable.

To read how I’m incorporating exercise and journaling into my daily routine, please consider subscribing to my weekly newsletter, A Segue Into Certainty. Delivered to your inbox every Monday.

Do you have any daily rituals that bring you joy and fulfillment? Share them with me, I’d love to hear them.

Leaning Into Discomfort

I was hoping to get my blog post in before midnight, but since I was busy working all day I will allow this one slip of my 28 days of blogging. (And so early on in the month, too! 😫).

I’m going to keep this post brief. Today I found myself especially irritable. On Thursday I had negative experience at work that left me distracted and jeopardized my ability to coach well and to have fun while teaching. Instead I felt on guard, insecure, and most of all ashamed. Then today I felt that my time had been disrespected by an employer who showed up twenty-five minutes late when they knew I had a hard out time. On top of that I’m worried about my family’s health and well being and my own financial stress.

I felt angry. Frustrated. Hopeless. Anxious. Like I attract very specific people and behavior and this is all my fault. I brought all of this upon myself. Even the things that didn’t have anything to do with me. Somehow I found ways to feel guilty because of them.

Thankfully, instead of blowing up, I vented to my therapist about the way I was feeling. I confided in a couple of friends. None of these people provided me with answers, but I didn’t need them. I just needed someone to listen and relate.

Thanks to The Craving Mind, one of my February reads, I refrained from my usual food binge or compulsive Amazon purchase. I simply forced myself to sit with and EXPERIENCE the emotions that were coursing through me. As excruciating as it is to acknowledge the awful inside of you–we can all agree it’s far easier to distract ourselves with instant gratification–it’s when we confront our fears and pain head on that the most progress can be made.

As great quote I read recently by Jonathan Fields goes:

“The butterflies always fly when you’re pushing into something that matters deeply and that requires growth. The reframe is to learn to experience the sensation as a signpost that cool things are happening and lean into it, rather than as a signal to run.”

It is so important to walk toward the scary parts of life. If we aren’t uncomfortable, we aren’t growing.

And you know what happened when I sat with the pain? The jumble of negative emotions inside of me disappeared. I’m still affected by all of this week’s events, but my mind is clearer and I’m ready to tackle it all with reason and compassion

As Fields says, I’m ready to lean into it.

the mess of imperfection.

the sexiness of order

may be appealing to the eyes

organized, and structural

straightforward, no surprise 

but stripped down to its core 

it’s easy, safe, relaxed 

i like my puzzles all fucked up 

a complexity, climaxed

the mess of imperfection 

chaotic, yet endearing 

i like my blues and reds combined 

predictability unhearing 

the answers are all out there

but it’s more fun to guess

limitless, yet limited

a sign of tried conquest 

attempts to fix your puzzle 

to dress you up real nice 

solvable, but as we know

permanency is not your vice 

the ego’s plea, forsaking  

i do it all to win 

but once you’re solved, i’m gonna let  

the mess undress again.