Today I am reflecting on this quote from the text A Course in Miracles:
“The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance.”
This is such a beautiful and relieving statement. I mean, isn’t it a freaking relief to know that you are already filled with love for yourself? A lack of self-love is not keeping you from being happy, it’s the roadblocks (fear) that separate us from love that are holding us back.
Reframing the concept of self-love in this way makes it feel more like a journey, doesn’t it? One where we are forced to confront our fears, develop an awareness of them in order to learn and grow, and then move the heck onto the next fear. But the glorious part about all of this, is that each victory over our fears is a step closer and closer to love.
I understand that confronting our fears is scary. But I also believe that we are put on this Earth to confront them, and that we can’t run away forever, albeit we want to keep facing the same old fear over and over again.
So how can we begin to face our fears?
- Stop Running & Just Show Up
Look, I get it. Discomfort sucks. Being in pain sucks. But we can’t keep numbing and avoiding what brings us pain our whole lives. Pain is the Universe’s official Call to Action, and the main reason why we continue finding ourselves in pain is because we are ignoring this CTA over and over again. At some point, we have to accept that our life and happiness depend on confronting our fears and stop running. Don’t worry. You won’t have to rely on your strength alone once you choose to stop and face fear.
2. Develop an Awareness of Your Fear & Its Triggers
In order to face fear, we need to become mindful as soon as it begins to surface and notice what’s causing it. Are you seeing any patterns? Are you doing the same thing or n the same place every time you become entrenched with fear? Take note of what is happening around you each time. It is only when we develop an awareness of our fear that we can truly start the process of overcoming it.
3. Treat Your Inner Child with Compassion
I’m sure when you get anxious and worried, the helpless child in you comes out. Mine certainly does. Our inner child is very much within us, and resurfaces whenever fear takes over. It’s time to start treating our inner child with love and compassion. We are its caretaker. Comfort it. Honor its feelings. Let it know that it isn’t alone. That the Universe will take care of the both of you.
Meditation, yoga, going for a walk, and other calming activities are also great options to caring for your inner child. Connecting with nature, the Universe, and giving yourself time to play are all key to relieving stress. This also gives the Universe an opportunity to offer you creative solutions to your problems.
4. Choose Love
A big reason why fear has a tendency to “win” in these situations is because negativity is a whole lot louder than positivity. Who do we pay attention to, the man who’s screaming his head off and honking his horn incessantly in a traffic jam, or the woman in the car behind him who’s smiling peacefully to herself?
While it’s difficult to go toward the calm, it’s achievable. We can accomplish this by putting our hand over the area where we feel our fear thriving inside of us, and focusing on our breathing. For every exhale, imagine the worry within you exiting from your body. Maybe a ball of radiant yellow light is growing in place of your fear.
Remember that you are not doing this alone. Let the Universe know you are surrendering your fear over to it through prayer, and feel the weight instantly lifted off of you.
Have you found yourself faced with the same fear over and over until it was time to face it? What did you do to face your fear? I want to hear about it in the comments.