everything is as it should be

Presently, this phrase is comforting me during my grandmother’s struggle with kidney failure. There’s truly a 50 percent chance every day that she’ll feel better or worse then the day before. She doesn’t eat much. She spends most of her time at rest. She’s quieter than normal. And it isn’t until I’m making my own breakfast while she’s reclining and watching television, trying to mimic her delicious cooking like the good old days, that I realize that things may never be the way they used to be. 

I may never hear her ask me if she can cook breakfast for me before I insist that I’ve already eaten. We may never get another chance to make homemade tamales or cookies for Christmas together. She may never have the energy to reminisce of her childhood again. 

But I remind myself, “everything is as it should be,” and I put my trust in the Universe. Everything is as it should be, and whatever happens, was meant to be. And like that, I’m at peace. The fear has been drained. The control out of my hands and placed in the hands of something far greater than myself. Something I know has got this. 

I always come back to the lyrics from a comic chant titled “When Thy Song Flows Through Me” every time life’s struggles pay me a surprise visit: 
“…life is sweet and death a dream…

joy is sweet and sorrow a dream…

health is sweet and sickness a dream…”
The good in life can and should be viewed as a delicious treat. Enjoy and savor it. Our struggles are simply that–a dream. They come and go, and serve as a reminder that life cannot remain comfortable 100 percent of the time. Much like we need to sleep, we need to let discomfort in. Feel it, observe it, and let it pass. Never let it take over you, for it is meant to be temporary. 

I have my grandmother today, as my lovely therapist once told me, and I’m grateful for the comfort that the present gifts upon us. 
I’m scared for what the future holds, but I know that this is life, and pain is but a passing emotion. It’s only when we look toward the future that worry kicks in. But when we pause and take a look around, taking in the sounds and scenery, basking in the simplicity of this moment, that is sweet. 

Everything else a dream. 

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